Ball State

» smart lipo

By China at 3:37 PM

I had lunch with one of my high school friends the other day. I'll admit, I was a bit surprised at how great she looked. I mean, she wasn't an ugly girl by any means; she ate well and exercised regularly and was probably more healthy than everyone in our group combined. But she always had a bit of a muffin top no matter how many sit ups she did or organic cereal bars she munched during the day. When I saw her, though, it was somehow gone. I wasn't exactly sure how she had finally managed to get rid of it but I suspected foul play.

Halfway through lunch, we started joking about the old days and how everyone used to look. This was my chance to find out the truth! So I pounced on the opportunity. I first complimented her on how great she looked now, then asked her how she had done it. Leaning forward as if it were a huge secret, she whispered two words: smart lipo.

I looked at her like she was crazy. I mean, I thought liposuction was just a procedure; I didn't know it could be smart. I wanted to ask her if dumb lipo existed but refrained so I wouldn't sound obnoxious. She explained calmly that SmartLipo was a type of procedure that used a laser to melt fat instead of liquid. Not being much of a liposuction buff, I had no idea what she was talking about. I figured you just lay the person in question on a hospital bed and stick a tube in them and wait for globs of fat to come oozing out into bags, but I guess that's just the way it's depicted in movies. She also mentioned that two other techniques, CoolLipo and ProLipo, existed (as you can imagine, I went to town with THOSE names. LameLipo or AmateurLipo, anyone?).

I asked her how much the Smartlipo cost and she replied that it was about 30% less than traditional liposuction methods. I hadn't asked her how much less it was, I just wanted to know how much the smart lipo cost. If I had known she wanted to play ring around the answer to my questions I wouldn't have asked any in the first place, but of course it was too late for that. Then she started blabbing on about how quick the procedure was, and how she was back at work within 2 days, and how it barely even hurt, and all that other related stuff that was just too much for me to listen to at one time.

Luckily, she tired of rambling on endlessly about her cosmetic liposuction and we finally got back to laughing and joking again. I did learn something today: next time I notice a friend has lost weight, I'm not saying a word! Serves them right for losing weight in the first place.